I walked under a bridge
and then I walked in the sun for a while
before going under another bridge and eventually
a third bridge where I stopped. I thought about
goats and a troll and being ten years old. I thought about a shark
that’s also a bear and lives in the deepest part
of the ocean which hasn’t been discovered yet because it’s
so deep we haven’t figured out how to get there.
I thought about the other things we haven’t
figured out like ghosts
and aliens and time travel.
I thought about Anthony Keidis and
how I should read Scar Tissue again and
Requiem for a Dream and crack and then I thought
about those people who drove under a bridge
a few months back and the bridge fell on
them and they died. I felt afraid momentarily
but stayed under the bridge because ultimately
I believed it couldn’t happen again
not so soon.
I looked at the graffiti on and around
the concrete arches and thought about
climbing the underside of the bridge and hiding
for a while and spying on people
running past. I thought about being
ten years old again and climbing
trees and the goats and troll and the shark
that’s also a bear surrounded by purple
seeming water. I thought about
stealing the rowing boat
I passed between the first
and second bridge.
A ‘joy ride’
or a ‘joy row’
maybe if it’s a boat it isn’t a ‘ride’
I wasn’t sure and it didn’t matter
because I wasn’t going to
steal the boat anyway since
I’m scared of doing stuff
like that now. There was a time
maybe close to when I
first read Scar Tissue
that I would have stolen the boat
because I wasn’t afraid
of things in general or maybe I just
didn’t think so much. It seems like
thinking so much is bad because
I was only walking under
a bridge and it “didn’t mean
anything or have any significance”
and it would be better if I saw it
that way too only I didn’t and I don’t.
A while back when asking myself
“What do I really want?” the only honest
answer I could come up with was “To go back
in time” so the hunt goes on either for
time-travel or a different answer to
that same question. For now I’ll
just walk under bridges and think about
lots of things and feel like I’m both
under and above the bridge
at the same time
or something equally
stupid seeming
but maybe not
completely stupid
just different.
