…finding definitive proof of multiple realities while pissing

 

 

 

 

 

 

I stand staring into

the toilet waiting to piss

after brushing my teeth before bed

and though many things

in my life have changed

some have not:

 

like this moment

that I’ve lived

thousands of times

the tactical before bed piss

often it takes a while to come

but you know it’s worth the wait

to ensure that uninterrupted

seven hour sleep:

 

and in the midst of these thoughts

one night early September

everything goes dark,

just an instant,

then light again but different:

 

I’m in my old bathroom

four years ago

just like that

it flickers at first

and then it’s real

fully animated around me

I feel all of it

the hum of the extractor

the smell of frying garlic

from the apartment below

the harsh orange light

the nausea that hung over me:

 

because maybe I never left

and this is all a dream

another me is still in that bathroom-

connected to him I am-

and now we’ve switched bodies

I’m the one who never left

while he’s freaking out in

a place he’s never seen:

 

but as I flush the toilet

with my old flusher

and wash my hands in

my old sink

I think of you:

 

in my old bathroom

I never thought of you

never knew you existed,

and if I’m still there

then it means I never left,

and I never met you:

 

parallel realities break,

there’s a crack,

I feel it,

because my present,

you,

it’s an authentic feeling

that can’t exist in more than one:

and I’m back

staring at wooden shutters

a mosquito net

red bathroom rug beneath my feet:

 

it’s you that brought me back

and everything is different now

I know we exist in many places

all at once:

 

I saw the other side tonight

there is more than we ‘know’

hidden depth

instinctive and natural

maybe we forgot:

 

and maybe that’s what I felt

when I met you for the first time

winter night

dressed in gold

red hands and red eyes

I held out my hand

you smiled

and in that instance

I saw so much more

than just the colour

blue in your eyes.

 

Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *