Poems and stuff by Maté Jarai…
Poems and stuff by Maté Jarai…







I walked under a bridge

and then I walked in the sun for a while

before going under another bridge and eventually

a third bridge where I stopped. I thought about

goats and a troll and being ten years old. I thought about a shark

that’s also a bear and lives in the deepest part

of the ocean which hasn’t been discovered yet because it’s

so deep we haven’t figured out how to get there.

I thought about the other things we haven’t

figured out like ghosts

and aliens and time travel.


I thought about Anthony Keidis and

how I should read Scar Tissue again and

Requiem for a Dream and crack and then I thought

about those people who drove under a bridge

a few months back and the bridge fell on

them and they died. I felt afraid momentarily

but stayed under the bridge because ultimately

I believed it couldn’t happen again

not so soon.


I looked at the graffiti on and around

the concrete arches and thought about

climbing the underside of the bridge and hiding

for a while and spying on people

running past. I thought about being

ten years old again and climbing

trees and the goats and troll and the shark

that’s also a bear surrounded by purple

seeming water. I thought about

stealing the rowing boat

I passed between the first

and second bridge.


A ‘joy ride’

or a ‘joy row’

maybe if it’s a boat it isn’t a ‘ride’

I wasn’t sure and it didn’t matter

because I wasn’t going to

steal the boat anyway since

I’m scared of doing stuff

like that now. There was a time

maybe close to when I

first read Scar Tissue

that I would have stolen the boat

because I wasn’t afraid

of things in general or maybe I just

didn’t think so much. It seems like

thinking so much is bad because

I was only walking under

a bridge and it “didn’t mean

anything or have any significance”

and it would be better if I saw it

that way too only I didn’t and I don’t.


A while back when asking myself

“What do I really want?” the only honest

answer I could come up with was “To go back

in time” so the hunt goes on either for

time-travel or a different answer to

that same question. For now I’ll

just walk under bridges and think about

lots of things and feel like I’m both

under and above the bridge

at the same time

or something equally

stupid seeming

but maybe not

completely stupid

just different.



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